a heavy day

Today, 21 October 2011, was really the last day of all the conferences (PANUSP and WFMHC). The World Federation for Mental Health had organized 7 different tour-options, and I went along with tour 5. I’m exhausted now. It was quite a heavy day, and I’m glad it’s all over now. No more time pressure and no more hurrying in the early mornings. Now I can schedule my own time to work (and I still have a lot to do).

At 9.00 we were supposed to be at the Conference Centre (CTICC), and at 9.30 the buss left. I had asked if it was possible to switch to the Tour to Valkenberg, but that was not possible, since everyone seemed to want to go there. So I went with the tour with the focus on intellectual disability and psychiatric disability, visiting the hospital Lentegeur.

We were going to see 4 different places in the Mitchells Plain, which is a township with 290.000 inhabitants, so it is a town on itself. It is situated on the Cape Flats (flat land at the Western Cape/ Wes-Kaap in Afrikaans). During apartheid regime coloured people were forcefully moved from the districts and were forced to live at the Cape Flats. Townships there were having names as Gugulethu (meaning How proud), Langa (Sun) and Nyanga (Moon). The Mitchells Plain is one of the biggest townships in South Africa.

We didn’t have much time to stay at the various places. Our first stop was at the LSEN school: a school for Learners with Special Educational Needs: LSEN (nice name), situated at the compounds of Lentegeur (which means Perfume of Spring). It was a nice place, which I hadn’t quite expected. The kids were happy, laughing, cheering and singing for us. It didn’t look like the things I had seen in Tanzania or Uganda. It was way better. They seemed to have almost enough resources.

I’m actually too tired to write my entire report now. I should go to sleep… I need to reload myself, otherwise I can’t be objective. I need to let some things go first. For that very same reason I strolled over Waterfront right after the bus tour. I just had hard feelings by all the things that were said today. (not really by the things I saw – I have seen amazingly compassionate care facilities.. for example the staff at LSEN school even asked the school kids if they had any questions for the visitors, which shows that the staff is aware of the childrens perspective. This struck me. It showed compassion and commitment. It was a good place, and it was quite well equipped, not as poor as you would expect – after having seen Mirembe hospital in Tanzania..). It is giving me mixed feelings.

I had a bit of a bitter feeling today, because everybody seems to think that mental health care in the Netherlands is so perfect because we are so well-resourced. They are jealous of that. When I say that I’m Dutch they immediately say that things are so good up there in NL. And when I say it’s not okay, they look at me like I’m spoiled. Like I am not allowed to complain. But I had forced body cavity searches , which is institutionalized rape (with 5 persons sitting on top of me, and one hand going into my intimate parts to check for sharp objects, because I was a danger to myself… and I was only 16.. and I never got any justice, except for that I was able to run away after 2-3 years, and managed to found my own organization..)
And now they are all jealous of my country, because they don’t know what’s really going on there.. They praise them, and it’s like they won’t understand that it’s not Utopia. (and of course I can understand why they want to believe that all of their problems can be so easily solved by following the western developments, it is hard to kill their dream.. but it’s a dream, not the truth..). They are praising the system that raped me and locked me up for 2 years, they praise the system that tied me on a bed in a seclusion cell for months... That really hurts me. They don’t know, and I couldn’t address that during this tour.. visiting “poor African mental health care”.. They act like victims of injustice, but I am also a victim of injustice,… But I couldn’t address that today.. .
The only thing that comforts me is to know that they don’t know… They have never been there.. they just believe what the media gives to them.. in the same way as Europeans think that all Africans are hungry, have diseases and have no houses made of stone… And it’s mainly the media who is to blame… Oh, it is such a world problem..

Yeah, it was a tough day, but in the end I took good care of myself, to comfort myself.
I know that I need to tell them, educate them before they make the same mistake as Europe… European care may have a lot of resources, but African care hasn’t killed compassion… we should all together protect the roots of care.. Inimba.
Tonight I will dream of a better world.